


take this to heart

by itsfromjapaAAAAAAAN (Random13245)



Series: there's no you and me, this impossible year [8]
Category: Be More Chill - Iconis/Tracz
Genre: ;), Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Codependency, Gay, M/M, Michael is not good about codependency and neither am I, Past Abuse, about damn time I let these bois be happy amirite?, abuse mention, me? projecting my codependency issues onto my fave character? NEVER, you might want to cry at first buT
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-28
Updated: 2017-09-28
Packaged: 2019-01-06 08:00:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,302
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12207105
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Random13245/pseuds/itsfromjapaAAAAAAAN
Summary: Stay safe, stay strong,And let me know that youll be here while I am gone,Because I'm coming home,Coming home tonight.Let's get this right,I said I'm coming home,Coming home tonight.





	take this to heart

**Author's Note:**

> whispers
> 
> what's this?
> 
> a haPPY ENDING???????????????
> 
> cover art: http://aminoapps.com/p/tkvvoi
> 
> song is Take This To Heart by Mayday Parade

_*Cause I'm a mess and you know that I can't help it,_  
_The drive home never seemed this long before._

“Are you ever going to tell me what happened?”

“Maybe,” Michael sighs, looking out the window of Jeremy’s car as he drives. 

Jeremy grips the wheel a bit tighter. “You ran away with him. And then a year later finally answer my calls and just ask for me to come get you.”

“Yes.”

Jeremy feels like screaming. “So I think I’m owed an explanation!”

Michael’s expression darkens. “I don't owe you _anything._ Except maybe gas money.”

 _You’re just a way out to him, nothing but someone who could drive for him._ Jeremy closes his eyes for a moment before refocusing on the road.

 _*Killing time just a little bit faster,_  
_And I swear we'll make it._

Ava helps him resettled into an apartment of his own. He’d come to understand how much he’s grown used to coming home to someone. But he has to be a whole person on his own.

He _is_ a whole person on his own.

 _*But I can't tell you what I don't know,_  
_(Be mine tonight, be mine tonight)._  
_The simple things, they make my heart go,_  
_(Be mine tonight, be mine tonight)._  
_But I can't tell you what I don't know,_  
_You'll have to wait,_  
_You'll have to wait._

“I was never happy with Noah.”

“Wh-” Jeremy tries to start, but Michael keeps going.

“I thought I was. I thought I needed him. He- he _made_ me think I needed him,” his voice cracks. This is dangerous territory, and they're in public. “And I let him.”

“Michael, maybe we should go to one of our apartments-” Jeremy stops talking and smiles tensely as the barista comes by and sets down their drinks. “Thank you.”

“Yeah, let's go,” Michael nods frantically, tears threatening to spill over the edges of his eyes.

 _*Stay safe, stay strong,_  
_And let me know that you'll be here while I am gone,_  
_Because I'm coming home,_  
_Coming home tonight._  
_Let's get this right,_  
_I said I'm coming home,_  
_Coming home tonight._

Jeremy holds Michael all night, just letting him sob into his shoulder. He rubs circles into Michael’s back, slow and relaxing. He’s silent, though. Even if he would speak, he isn't sure what he'd say.

But he doesn't have to, because Michael fills the empty room with plenty of talk. Talk that makes Jeremy’s chest hurt. Talk about everything with Noah, from start to finish of their relationship.

 _If you hadn't been so stupid, if you hadn't left, this would've never happened to him._ He tries to shake the thought, but it haunts him. _He_ could've stopped all of this hurt for Michael. But he didn't.

The guilt claws its way through his rib cage and carves itself a home behind his heart.

 _*You said it hurts and you know that I believe you,_  
_Searching every little thing to find a way,_ _To tell your heart just to wait a little longer,_  
_I swear we'll make it._

“I still want there to be an us,” Michael says towards the end of his sobbing. “Is that stupid?”

Jeremy has to realize that's his cue to speak again. “No, I-” he swallows, “I want that too.” 

Michael smiles weakly, the gesture shakey on his face. “Give me some time, okay? I- I’m not exactly- well _okay_ yet.”

“Okay.”

 _*But I can't tell you what I don't know,_  
_(Be mine tonight, be mine tonight)._  
_The simple things, they make my heart go,_  
_(Be mine tonight, be mine tonight)._  
_But I can't tell you what I don't know,_  
_You'll have to wait,_  
_You'll have to wait._

Michael isn't sure when it will happen, when he will wake up one day and just be okay again. If he’ll ever be okay again.

And it's not fair, really, to keep Jeremy hoping like he has been. But, to be entirely honest, being fair to Jeremy isn't really a concern to him.

So he clings to Jeremy, just two steps away from romance at all times. They live in this weird limbo between friends and lovers.

 _*Stay safe, stay strong,_  
_And let me know that you'll be here while I am gone,_  
_Because I'm coming home,_  
_Coming home tonight._

He's also not sure when _it_ starts. When he starts considering Jeremy to be his home. When he lets his feelings blend together like this. But Jeremy is so _warm_ that he melts his anxieties over time.

And he's not sure when it becomes clear that the feeling is mutual, but at some point he's sure of it.

 _*Let's get this right,_  
_I said I'm coming home,_  
_Coming home tonight._

Jeremy wants to do everything right this time. It's not often in life someone gets a second chance like this. So he wants to make sure he does this right.

He's patient, he holds Michael silently most nights, asking for nothing more from him. And Michael doesn't ask much more outside of company from him.

No matter how much he wants to lean down at any moment and kiss Michael, even on the forehead as he comforts him, he holds back. He tries to give the control to Michael, something he never had with Noah.

 _*One more night,_  
_And we'll go spinning around the room,_  
_And dance with our hearts on fire,_  
_Cause every song is ours tonight._

They're just lazing around one night, watching Netflix and cuddling like they’d come to do every night now. On screen, two characters start dancing to soft music in the background in one of those cliche scenes.

Michael suddenly sits up, peeling away from Jeremy and standing. “Dance with me,” he says softly, holding out his hand. Jeremy blinks up at him, stunned for a moment before taking his hand and standing.

The song on the show is coming to an end, but they continue to dance around the room. Jeremy giggles softly as Michael spins him.

He feels like he's floating on air with Michael’s arms around him.

What he doesn't expect is the soft feeling of Michael’s lips against his. And it's so familiar and yet so new all at once. They’d kissed before, but drunkenly and messily. Nothing quite this tender.

Jeremy feels a wave of mixed emotions; relief, confusion, warmth, and overall _love._ He puts a hand on Michael’s cheek and gently kisses back, careful not to break the delicate moment.

 _*And if you love me so,_  
_I’m gonna tell the whole world,_  
_That it's greatest thing that happened to me,_  
_I finally found a good reason to come home._

Michael suddenly pulls away, pulling away from their embrace as well. He looks as if he's shocked with his own actions. “S-Sorry- I- don't know what came over me-”

Jeremy frowns. _Is Michael trying to say he didn't_ mean _that? There's no way he didn't feel it too-_

“I totally just crossed a boundary and I'm sorry.”

 _Oh._ “No, no, there's no need to be sorry.” Jeremy reassures him. Michael nods sullenly, and Jeremy feels like the moment is slipping through his fingers without making any progress. “I mean- I liked it.”

“ _Oh._ ” Michael says quietly. “Can I- can I do that again?”

“Yes.”

So he does, and with the same gentle tenderness as before. As if if he presses too hard or kisses to fiercely, Jeremy will disappear and become a delusion, a vision, a dream.

But he's real. And once they part the second time, Jeremy whispers. “I love you.”

And in the silence, Michael speaks softly. “I love you too.”

 _*Stay safe, stay strong,_  
_And let me know that you'll be here while I am gone,_  
_Because I'm coming home,_  
_Coming home tonight._  
_Let's get this right,_  
_I said I'm coming home,_  
_Coming home tonight._


End file.
